Nice to see you darling!

 

First let me start this with an apology, since I am not a politician I have the freedom and respect of accountability to apologize.  In this case I was reading though my blog comments and likes section when I saw the following quote from ZsaZsa Gabor.  So here I am smug in my blogosphere thinking I do not need to remember peoples names but when I searched through my comment and follow section I could not find the blog person who posted the ZaZa comment to give  a credit link.

Zaza Gabor explained she addressed everyone by calling them  “darling” because she could not remember their names. I like the ZsaZsa idea (also like the name ZsaZsa)  for I have one heck of a time remembering most anything… including not remembering peoples names.  So, I decided for a time  to addresse everyone by calling them dude, this worked for a short time until I used it on a women, who seemed to find it offensive to her femininity… even after mentioning about  equal rights she seemed even more animated and upset, she still did not find my women’s equal rights  argument acceptable, maybe she was a Republican?  Then I remembered back in boot camp when my Drill Instructor  addressed all of us boots as … “ladies”, apparently some of the guys  found being called “ladies” sort of insulting,  though it did not bother me,  because I found it kind of funny?  Then I tried out addressing everyone by calling them  “Cuz”… becuz in a sense everyone in the world is everyone’s Cuz, though it sounds strange to people you never met before, so I did not go with cuz.  How about addressing other people you cannot remember their names by “brother” or “sister”?  I decided against  this, because calling someone “brother or sister” could become quite uncomfortable…one never knows, especially in my  case with the ladies  I never know when I may have amorous intentions down the road,  plus brother sounds kind of religious like a monk or something.  A lot of people seem to like using the word “you” which is not always used in a positive sense, like…when this guy addressed me by saying…”You”… “sound like a Nazi wearing Jackboots”…or “you”…” are one of those liberal pinko commies”…no “you” does not work well, when addressing people, and  it sounds kind of insulating,  especially when “you” is followed by a four letter word.

So in the end… I ask a person as I grab my smarty pants phone;  “and … how do you spell your name again”.

 

My sperences with painting floors and Methodologists

I member when I was younger I used to paint houses inside and out…I painted myself into a corner once, for some strange reason… I member quite clearly… all of a sudden I had to go Pee!

I went to the local community church here in Hoot Owl … I think they called them selves Methodologists, guess that’s Christian? All I member is doing a lot of standing up and sitting down and singing off key…they evidently passed around a salad bowl full of money, I felt guilty but thought it was like my grandmas candy bowl, so I took some and then I don’t member much… except I ended up outside? So I have had some sperence with those Christians folks you talk about, but I don think I want to go back.

Now…my Grandma would slap my hand when she said I took more than my allowance of candy… but grandma never threw me outside?

Those Methodologists seemed kinda strange to me?

Adolf…Civil War Hero

Not many people know this and probaly more people would not care… when Adolf Hitler
Had his 122 birthday last year in Chicago, evidently some people actually celibated it. Only in Chicago, about 60 people gathered at a Restaurant to party hardy for Hitler’s “birthday”. It seemed they where also celebrating the start of the Civil war…now I do not know if party goers happen to know this, but Hitler was not in the Civil war?

According to observations from passer by’s…the room was decorated with swastikas, and banners and there were two cakes which were decorated with the words “Happy 122ed Birthday Adolf” and the other one said…”The South Was Right. White Men Fight.” apparently some people do not have a clue of how many years it has been since the Civil War…which explains some things!

Party goers did not wear costumes depicting either Nazis or the Civil war, but there seemed to have been a large number of people wearing tea bags and one person was reported to be riding a strawman,..waving a red fish… which seemd to be a troubling cause of concern among many of the party goers, because they suggested it sort of looked gay?

Police Chief Harry Toad, told reporters that a man with a backpack entered the banquet hall and ordered a shot of Tequila and a vegan sandwich with roast beef and cranberry sauce,.. before heading into the men’s room to set off a smoke bomb.

Harry Toad said the officers do not have a clear description of the man who threw the smoke bomb, except that he was medium height, with a ruddy complexion, had a peg leg, a patch over one eye and a hook for one hand. Police are asking for any information leading to the wherabouts of this man!

Owner of the restaurant, Dusty Bucket,.. said he was not aware that the banquet space was rented for Hitler and he had not noticed the Swastikas!

Skunks and dogmas

Every once in a while I smell a skunk here on the ranch where I live, so far my present dog has not been skunked… in the past my other dogs usually got skunked only once if they where smart, and several more times if they where democrats, and constantly if they where republicans. So my only conclusion is a blind dogma is almost the same as a slow learning dogma and I suppose I never had a Tea Party dog?

For the Yin and the Yang of it

You know, I mentioned Yin and Yang on one of my previous blog posts, I also mentioned Yin and Yang when commenting on a political site at “Truthdig”. Let me be clear, I do not consider myself an expert on Yin And Yang nor much of anything else, but when learning art we where taught the importance of Yin and Yang in art as opposing differences or opposites, also over time I picked up some more ideas on the meaning of Yin and Yang by osmosis. Evidently my accounting of Yin and Yang was a blasphemy of western proportions and according to the Yin and Yang police I have a limited consciousness…which may have something to do with an accident I had with a bowling ball and a garage door opener. According to the Yin Yang police it means two sides of a one sided coin? I latched right onto that two sides on a one sided coin, like making sure to wear concrete shoes every time I go swimming. Being a skeptic in general and in specific about absolutism’s, such as Yin and Yang, I decided to paint a picture of Yin and Yang… well it came out different than I remember it, my painting depicts a slightly hairy renegade bowling ball disguised as Yin and Yang.
Renagade Bowling Ball

Not so fond memeories

The other day when I had some free time for Reminiscing and after watching what is called News, for some strange reason I recalled the time after Bushes Shock and Awe happened in Iraq… there appeared a deck of cards showing alleged criminals from the Sudden Assume government in Iraq, containing pictures of alleged and apparently already convicted Iraqi criminals wanted by the United States Government. After very little thought, I wondered how we could do something similar to making a deck of cards for alleged criminals in Washing DC, for those naughty opportunists we know so well. Seems to me, we would need to develop an extraordinarily large set of dominoes instead of only 52 lousy cards.
I ask why bother, in a million years, after all the dominoes were taken care of, we would just have to start over and make a new set of dominos anyway?

For the bargain price of $150, you can purchase alien abduction insurance. The policy covers up to 1.5 million in damages if the claimant can prove he or she was actually abducted.

For some time now I have been worried about many different things, like the terror on war, all the terrors in between and even the terror on terror! But now I have a new thing to worry about. It is documented and known, aliens have been abducting people from all over the world but mostly in places like Kansas. One theory is these aliens are practicing to become airport security personal or politicians.   How many times have I heard of people riding on a lonely nighttime road only to be beamed up to a UFO?  I mean these abductions by aliens must really have happened… because why would someone make this up?  So now I have a new thing to worry about, as I fret and worry every time I am driving along a dark lonely road, especially when I am alone, I  feel the watching, as if someone or something is following me and I know it is those damn aliens wanting to get me in their clutches ( not sure if aliens have hands) and probe me with the well reported and and notorious anal probe machine, probably made by  Hallabutan. This anal probe thing cannot be a coincidence, the number of stories about abductions and anal probes exceeds the Fox News Category of reality. What is one to do about alien abductions… Well all my fretting and worrying has finally been addressed.

Finally our friendly Insurance industry has developed an alien abduction insurance policy, which covers up to 1.5 million dollars in damages, all for the super bargain price of $150 for an Abduction policy.  Though now I have something else on my fret meter.  Evidently the insurance policy can only be collected if the claimant proves he or she was actually abducted by aliens.