For the bargain price of $150, you can purchase alien abduction insurance. The policy covers up to 1.5 million in damages if the claimant can prove he or she was actually abducted.

For some time now I have been worried about many different things, like the terror on war, all the terrors in between and even the terror on terror! But now I have a new thing to worry about. It is documented and known, aliens have been abducting people from all over the world but mostly in places like Kansas. One theory is these aliens are practicing to become airport security personal or politicians.   How many times have I heard of people riding on a lonely nighttime road only to be beamed up to a UFO?  I mean these abductions by aliens must really have happened… because why would someone make this up?  So now I have a new thing to worry about, as I fret and worry every time I am driving along a dark lonely road, especially when I am alone, I  feel the watching, as if someone or something is following me and I know it is those damn aliens wanting to get me in their clutches ( not sure if aliens have hands) and probe me with the well reported and and notorious anal probe machine, probably made by  Hallabutan. This anal probe thing cannot be a coincidence, the number of stories about abductions and anal probes exceeds the Fox News Category of reality. What is one to do about alien abductions… Well all my fretting and worrying has finally been addressed.

Finally our friendly Insurance industry has developed an alien abduction insurance policy, which covers up to 1.5 million dollars in damages, all for the super bargain price of $150 for an Abduction policy.  Though now I have something else on my fret meter.  Evidently the insurance policy can only be collected if the claimant proves he or she was actually abducted by aliens.